Cut the Shit

Beauty, Beauty, Everywhere

For today’s entry, I’ve decided to write about types of people that I find to be remarkably beautiful. I was walking down Broadway the other day and I realized that in a city with so much grime and litter, it’s easy to overlook the truly beautiful people that make up the details of my home. If I try, I can say beautiful five more times in this paragraph. Especially since beautiful is as beautiful does. Ah yeah beautiful! It’s your birthday! So beautiful you are beautiful.

Fair enough!

First of all, I have SUCH a love for masculine gay businessmen. I love a man in a suit, with a clean cut look, power tie, and the best of all, contemporary and classy glasses. My ideal business man would be thin, cropped hair, good looking, but more focused on business than glam. Cuz when you take those glasses off, it’s like She’s All That. Suddenly, they become the king of the prom! My friend Rita would be proud. She’s been trying to get me on the dork band wagon for years.

Big, bountiful, gorgeous black women. Man, I love em. I love their sass, their personality, their style, and their overall confidence. Big women in general always get my attention and I find their particular voluptuousness to be more attractive and intriguing than a girl who works out every day at the gym. Maybe it’s because I’m gay, or maybe it’s because I can recognize beauty easier than most straight men. Either way, I love a woman who has tits and ass and knows how to work her special gifts.

Lately, I’ve been really into skinny guys. I don’t know what the deal is. I go through this phase off and on and these days I’m on. There is this student that comes in to my office and he’s got a great looking face, good style, and he weighs a whopping 140#. I find myself staring at him at the most random moments, not just because I think he’s good looking, but because I don’t know why I’m intrigued by such skinniness. Maybe it’s cuz I want to be that skinny? Or maybe it’s because I want to be that skinny. Either way (haha), skinny guys (with hot faces and good haircuts) are definitely doing it for me as of late.

The ultimate in beauty to me is the guy that works out so obsessively that he has no time for anything else. If I see a guy who is 300# of muscle, I freak (see the picture above of international phenom Markus Ruhl). I get all nervous in my stomach and if I end up talking to them, I stumble over my words and try to act all cool. If I ever masturbate (which I always do), I jerk off soley to this type of man. There’s nothing like a strong, built guy that’s going to throw me over his shoulder and fuck me all over the apartment. He doesn’t even have to kiss me when he’s done. Just piss on me and leave.

Cept if you piss on me, I’m going to punch you in your dickhead.

Since I was in college, I’ve always had a thing for girls like Kate Moss. “Heroin Chic” is dangerous and a deadly way to live, but man, I think it’s captivating and gorgeous. The Olsen Twins may be too thin and gross to a lot of people, but I say…bring it on! Please understand that I realize the epidemic that is bulimia and anorexia, but staying very thin can be done in a healthy way. Just ask my friend Angie who is the smallest friend I have. And I think her body is damn near perfect. I love little, just like I love big. Cept they’re opposites. Yet really…so much the same.

Bboys – Oh my God. The Bboy. These are black guys that are kind of ghetto, but end up possessing STYYYYYYYYYLE and are so naturally cool. Sometimes I can be cool, but no matter what I do, I will never be as cool as the Bboy. They listen to the best music, fuck the best, and can score you the best weed. Their bodies tend to be ripped and although that kind of physicality doesn’t really do it for me, when it’s covered up by chocolate skin and baggy jeans/hooded sweatshirt combo…BOO DAMN! Count this cracka in!

Rather than walk around the city and focus on the overwhelming ugliness, I’ve recently tried to find the person on the subway or in the restaurant that I find fascinating. It makes the time go faster and it’s really allowed me to open my mind to what’s truly beautiful in this world. Mostly, having confidence is the way to go. It can turn the fugliest person into the hottest shit out there.

I have to remember that.